It slips away. I remembered clearly the other day, a little less so now, I was at the county farm in Shasta, at the fire camp, I had to go to the dentist, I don't remember if I had to go, or I had to go. but I remember sliding into that unreal world, the bent wire of the man in power, that suck of vitality, and the helplessness, you get this willingness to let go someone has given you permission to let go, you don't have to fight it past a certain point it's just damage, and there's goign to be work to do someday,. you want to stay whole or as whole as possible under the circumstances, so that's where the last big input took place I think, it was a few days worth though I'm not at all certain how long it really was, and what's almost humorous is always there's this second-tier of dedicated soldiers, totally opposed to you, and they're the only ones who could help, the only ones in position and they're filled with disgust for you while it happens right under their noses. 3rd Watch is great that way, opening it up with tearing it open, because you don;t the warriors feeling as hopeless as you do, but they do need to recognize their own limits especially from above especially how easily the information gets bottlenecked and redirected,how malleable we all are, how simple the criteria are and how easy to meet.
So there was that, the dentist chair's almost too pat for the behaviorists, but if you think me and the other paranoids are the only ones who ever thought how convenient a mask it would be, the unconsciousness the pain, even some blood, and the gas and drug induced "visions", well you're probably too dull-witted to read this, with any comprehension.

put here 5:19 PM

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