I'm working toward a statement, I don't have it yet, but it's coming along. The glee, I could never get that, and that glee coupled with knowing - I couldn't get how anybody who knew could be that bitter, and take pleasure in the slam of fortune. Unless they came through here the first time going our way. Then it starts making a kind of sense. They were going this way, ahead of us and linking with their future selves, and it was piling up, all that get there first energy and knowledge, but they didn't make it.
So then they didn't have anywhere else to go but backward through the same linear tunnel they rode in.
Always there's that scam of because somebody can do this and because they knew about that, then everything else they say must be true.
But what do you want? You know? Does it start with the self? And go out from that?
Can you conceive of someone wanting something that had nothing to do with themselves, not even in an altruistic way, not even racial or species-centered? What would that be? What's out there?
I'm leaving on the same notes I came in with. I want to go through the Pleiades and out the other side.
Something out there that has nothing to do with this.
Not contact, not sameness, complete otherness.
But I want that protected from what's here.
So I'm not going.

put here 10:28 PM

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